NBC aired one of the most absurd reality shows I have ever come across last night, Age of Love.  On this show (which I already love), formerly credible tennis star, Mark Phillippoussis (who, despite what the host says, is not in the "prime of his career" if he is appearing on this train wreck) is trying to find his True Love.  Reality TV is only for people who are totally committed to finding True Love, you know?

Anyway, Mark thinks he is appearing on a regular dating reality show, and when the women are revealed to be 40-somethings, he looks like someone punched him in the gut.  Its hilarious.  The worst part of this show is that it does not pit totally awesome, secure, successful 40-somethings against drippy, naive 20-somethings in order to maybe equate age with depth and life experience or whatever (sort of like how Average Joe pit dorky but sweet and bright guys against dense himbos).  The 40-somethings are as vacant and desperate as any 20-something I have ever seen on a reality show (though they are totally hot).  When Mark's introduction video pictured him cuddling a puppy that he got because he was lonely on Valentine's Day, I rolled my eyes ... while these women oohed and aahed. Seriously, who are these people?

The 20-somethings were not revealed until the end of the episode (standing hilariously provocatively behind a curtain), so it remains to be seen how this "twist" will play out.  Honestly, the "social experiment" aspect of this show would only make sense if the bachelor were 35 - equidistant in age between the 20-somethings and 40-somethings.  As it is, there is only a year or two in age difference between Mark and some of the girls.  Actually, it might also be more interesting if the 40-somethings were noticably more attractive than the 20-somethings to see if a man will go for youth over beauty.

This show is appalling and I will totally be watching every episode. 

Just when you think that Britney Spears cannot get any weirder...

On her website, Britney Spears is asking her fans to decide on a moniker for her next album.  Possible titles:

1. Omg is Like Lindsay Lohan Like Okay Like

2. What if the Joke is on You

3. Down boy

4. Integrity

5. Dignity

One assumes that the first title is Britney Spears' camp's attempt at "humor"  and "irony," since everyone gossiped about Britney's stint in rehab, as they are gossiping about Lindsay's.  I guess.  It actually seems kind of mean, but this is probably because of my documented affection for Lindsay Lohan. Who is Britney to make fun of my girl?!

As for suggestion #2, all I have to say is, it is, Britney, it is.

Suggestion #3 brings to mind weird images of what her homelife with Kevin must have been like.  I don't even want to know.

Integrity and Dignity actually sound like album titles Britney would use, as these words probably signify Britney's completely delusional views of herself.  I don't think the word "dignity" can really describe a person who routinely goes out in public with random parts of her body hanging out.

I like Popjustice's suggestions, myself. 

I know I am not the only person who found coverage of the Paris Hilton debacle completely fascinating.  I don't like Paris Hilton; I've never even really followed Paris Hilton.  But I was absolutely glued to the television on Friday, watching the drama unfold.

What made this such a media event?  It wasn't as if she was suspected of killing anyone.  Certainly, DUIs and driving with a suspended license are serious issues, but they are also (sadly) somewhat commonplace and nothing that would typically cause such public fascination.  If the same events had happened to someone like Reese Witherspoon, I doubt we would have seen such a brouhaha.

So why Paris?

The answer is simple: she just sucks.  She first became a household name when she arranged for the release of her own sex tape.  She has had no work output of any value whatsoever. (And say what you will about Lindsay Lohan, but she has made some decent flicks.)  She comes across as a simpering, spoiled brat and not even a remotely nice person.  And yet, she is constantly given special privileges, media attention, and has more money than most of us.  She is a glaring example of the "haves" who think they are better than the rest of us.  And so, watching Paris treated like a common criminal - and fighting it every step of the day - was kind of an awesome affirmation that maybe we are all equal in this country. 

Interestingly, Sheriff Lee Baca was also suspected of some celebrity favoritism with regards to Mel Gibson's arrest last summer when Gibson's racist remarks and resisting arrest were not included in the original report.  Baca has given a plethora of excuses for Hilton's release ranging from overcrowding to her mysterious illness, despite the fact that the judge had specified "no house arrest." 

Oh, and for the record, my guess is that Paris's "medical condition" was detoxing from whatever drug she was on when she was admitted. Which sucks, but hey, its jail.

Paris Hilton has been ordered to return to court at 9 AM this morning regarding her early release from jail.  Send her back.  Dooooo it. (This just keeps getting better!)

The Tony Awards, which are broadcast from Radio City Music Hall in New York City, will air on CBS this Sunday.  The Tony Awards are actually my favorite (and in my opinion, the classiest) of all awards shows.  I have not seen anything on Broadway this year, but I will certainly be watching (while the rest of America will be watching the other Tony on HBO).  I love the Tonys for the production numbers, the fact that gay people can thank their partners openly and without anyone batting an eye, and the fact that it promotes theatre to the masses. 

Of course, I will be the only one watching.  The Tony Awards do not stand a chance against Tony Soprano.

Looks like the rumors are true.  Paris Hilton has been released from jail. 

MSNBC has reported that Paris Hilton was let out of jail early for "medical reasons." (Are these medical reasons...not liking jail?)  She is now under house arrest for 40 days.  Sure.  I give it another three days before she is spotted at Les Deux with Brandon Davis because in Paris Hilton's world, house arrest will likely encompass Hollywood Euro-lounges. 

TMZ is reporting that Paris Hilton is being released from California's Century Regional Detention Facility in Lynwood today after serving only three days for "good behavior." 

While jails are certainly overcrowded, I was hoping that Paris would be forced to serve her full 23 days.  At least now she won't have her harrowing stay in jail to milk for publicity, although I'm sure that she will try.  (She was apparently forced to take off her blue contact lenses. Being seen with brown eyes - what a treacherous and inhumane experience for poor widdle Paris!) 

Kelly Clarkson, the first and best American Idol, is releasing her new album, "My December" on June 26.  Kelly wrote or cowrote every track on "My December."  As she told Entertainment Weekly, "The whole album is the story of the past two years, all the highs and lows."  The album was actually ready months ago, but the release was reportedly delayed because producer Clive Davis did not like the music.  Some reports said that Clive wanted Kelly to scrap the album altogether and record something entirely new. 

Fortunately, Kelly's choice to evolve as an artist - and stick to her convictions - won out.  The catchy "Never Again"  is already a hit on the Billboard charts.

In addition to her music, Kelly's weight has been the source of a lot of chatter lately.  Has the pop star put on too many pounds?  I think Kelly looks fantastic with a more normal, every-girl body.  I'm sick of seeing women diet themselves into stick figures, while claiming that they absolutely adore eating french fries (this means you, Nicole).  Kelly is honest about the fact that she eats what she wants and sometimes wants a cookie after a long day.  Who doesn't?

NASA Administrator Michael Griffin said of global warming:

"I guess I would ask which human beings -- where and when -- are to be accorded the privilege of deciding that this particular climate that we have right here today, right now, is the best climate for all other human beings."

Ooookay.

In other news, an Atlanta lawyer, Andrew Speaker, infected with a rare, contagious form of tuberculosis took several flights.  He says that he was told that he was not contagious or infectious to anyone.  But still ... Worst. Seatmate. Ever.

I admit it.  I like Lindsay Lohan.  Certainly, this is not a popular opinion, but I can't help it.  As an actress, I think that she has a natural and unaffected quality.  She was adorable in The Parent Trap and Mean Girls is one of the best teen movies of this decade.  A lot of Lohan-haters may be feeling some schadenfreude at her recent self-destruction, but I'd really like to see her pull a Drew Barrymore and come out of this period of her life a nicer, more centered person and a better actress.

It has been reported that Lindsay has checked into rehab.  I am definitely not a fan of the use of rehab as a PR tool (which seems to be happening with Hollywood types a lot lately), so I hope that Lindsay is truly trying to make a sincere attempt at recovery.  She is talented, charismatic, and very pretty.  Lindsay has definitely suffered from some pretty poor parenting, but plenty of people have overcome similar obstacles in their lives and have gone on to be positive, functioning members of society.  I believe Lindsay can do the same...if she wants to.

So what do you think?  In ten years, will we see Lindsay Lohan as an Academy Award nominee and owner of he own production company...or just another burnout?

Pirates of the Caribbean 3: At World's End opened last night.  Most industry experts predict that it will take the bulk of the Memorial Day weekend box office.  But the true question is: how much money will the movie earn?  The Hollywood Reporter reports that Pirates is playing in a record 4,362 theaters, priming it for a huge pay-off.  Last year's Pirates movie became the biggest opening weekend of all time when it earned $135.6 million. This record was broken by Spiderman 3, which earned $151.1 million in its opening weekend.  Insiders are predicting that Pirates 3 will overtake Spiderman 3 this weekend, and that the combined power of Pirates 3, Spiderman 3, and Shrek the Third could make this one of the biggest Memorial Day weekends of all time. 

Unfortunately, as with Spiderman 3, the critical buzz surrounding the opening of Pirates is that the movie was crafted more as a product of a franchise than a cohesive film.  At over two and a half hours, the movie is extremely long, and some reviewers are saying that it is something of an incomprehensible mix of plotlines as the producers are trying to cram everything possible into the movie.  Johnny Depp fans will surely be overjoyed to see his latest vampy turn as Captain Jack Sparrow, however.  Yo ho. 

In other news ...

How amazing was the Lost finale? 

SPOILER SPACE FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE NOT GOTTEN AROUND TO WATCHING IT YET

I figured out that the flashbacks were flash-forwards right away due to Jack's depressive behavior, but his final interlude with Kate brought forth so many questions - Who was in the coffin? One of the castaways?  Why would Kate not attend the funeral?  Is she in hiding?  When is the group actually rescued (clearly, the "rescue" at the end of the episode must be a red herring)?  Why does Jack want to go back to the island?  What an episode!

R.I.P., Charlie Pace.